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Friday, November 6, 2009

Are you ever really "OK"?

I'm hoping that as I write this, it will make sense & not turn out to be some vomited emotional babble.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Given the timing/circumstances of a certain celebrities interview, we'll be hearing more of DV for the weeks to come. And I get it, her album is coming out, PERFECT timing, etc. But really people, that doesnt negate what happened to her. So whether you feel theres any stalk or sincerity to what shes saying, take a step back & breathe. YOU werent the one who went through it.
  • almost 10 yrs ago, I was in an abusive relationship. I feared for my life & yet loved him with all my heart. So much that I was willing to marry him & move away.
  • The last fight I was thrown down a flight of stairs & slammed against a wall. After that, it was over.....& even months after that, I still flew out to see him b/c I still loved him.
  • I remember to this day, telling my best friend that if anything ever happened to me, that it was him, that he'd be the one that did it to me.
Those are just pieces of what happened to me. My story. I dont think I'll ever be "ok". I dont think SHE'll ever be ok either. The scars you dont see I suppose. But to everyone who has their opinions about HER & what happened, & how REAL she is......
I dont care.

She spoke & from personal experience, that alone is heart breaking. Not b/c it's being told for you to hear, but for the person who's hearing themselves. The most intimate of self-reflections.
It is not easy to speak about domestic violence, "victims" are afraid, they always are, confused, always trying to comprehend what happened to them. Whether it was their own fault or the abuser's. Should they be angry with themselves?

Would you all have liked her to parade herself around all battered & bruised? Would that have made you all feel better about her abuse, more believable? More sympathetic? More REAL?
You all have no idea what it's like, what it feels like. What goes on inside our own head. It's so easy for you all to judge,you're all outside, just looking in. Such ignorance & criticism is exactly why so many women stay quiet, why so many women are ashamed & scared to come forward.

Love yourself 1st.
DV HOTLINE
Safe Horizon

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