356 Days of Me (plus 2 weeks....)

a busy October + quarantined with pneumonia = lots of time thinking

-Inspired by "500 Days of Summer" & my birthday-

A lot can happen in a year. 

Oct.26th,2009 was celebrated with knights & jousting , surrounded by close friends & family I held close to my heart.  Oct. 26th,2010 was celebrated & coordinated by my 2 bestest friends, with ninja's & magic shows. 2 girls that I know, no matter what, will always be by my side. I say that with such conviction.

Through that year I fully recovered from my rebound nonsense. No more looking back....& even when/if I do, the reflex is no longer wishful thinking & hopeful dreams. It's met with raised eyebrows & shaking of the head. My eyebrows. My head. 3yrs is a long time to hold onto to something that isnt there anymore. I actually joined Match.com, although nothing blossomed from it (damn commercials,lol) it was so xciting to "date" again & meet new people. To be nervous about 1st meetings & get butterflys. It's a beautiful & glorious feeling to look forward.

Through that year I loved again. A discovery if you will. No, nothing came of it. But that's not the point. What is the point, is that I loved. I am capable of it. I'm not broken, or jaded. I loved for all the right reasons. 

That within itself deserves merit. 

Through that year I clinged to family. To my aunt , to my parents. To my family in Puerto Rico. To my newly engaged cousin. As I get older, family becomes more & more important to me. My heritage & where my family comes from & what they went through is a part of me. We have been through through so much & no matter the circumstance, we hold on to each other as lifelines. 

Through that year I saw catastrophic earthquakes rock the countries of both my best friends. I felt their fear, concern, love & pride for their heart-lands. I saw the world unite to save one country , while the other humbly took care of its own. As a result I joined the Red Cross & have done my part to give back. (& fight the constant urge to pack up & move to Haiti & rebuild)

In that year I achieved 2 parts of my Bucket-list. I saw Robin Williams live at the Borgarta. The man who I associate comedy & laughter with. A hero, if you will, that I've always looked up to.  The ability to make people laugh is a powerful gift, & although he can be crude & extra, Robin Williams embodies that belief for me.  The 2nd was meeting Stan Lee. Marvel Comic's father. Waiting on line for 16hr's, braving the cold & hard sidewalk. I met the man who fathered many of Marvel's popular superhero's. It was an emotional experience. I will always remember both.

Through that year, I am thankful for my friends. The ones who stand by me. Through my childness & silly ways. Through my WoW talk & comic xcitment. Through my healthy days & not so healthy. For my hearts, my rocks, my sanities. For the ones who answer txts, IM's, random phone calls, & spur of the moment dinners & sleep overs. There are times I feel lost, where I am xtra hard on myself. When I feel out of place & confused. You are the ones who keep me centered, you are the ones who get me.  I am thankful for you.

& through this year....I've learned my body hates me. *cue pneumonia* 

Kinect.....perhaps....

What Times Square looked like when Xbox 360 released its Kinect epicness. Kinect is...well, think of Wii, w/o the dumb controller. 

& at 1st I wanted no part of it. Why jump around , run around, dance around....no thank you. I'm asthmatic! 

But now looking at all the possible fitness games & possible silly times one can partake in. 

I do believe I'm a sell-out.

oh asthma

A fish out of water....

THAT's how asthma feels......

Still

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

 Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

 Which is what I do....

And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”

-Dr.Seuss-

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. 

We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race & the human race is filled with passion. 

And medicine,law, business,engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. 

But poetry, beauty, romance, love......

 THESE are what we stay alive for. "

-Dead Poets Society-

I dont post often enough. I dont post at all actually. And as I sit here, with my 1st cold of the season, 

I realize it's b/c I dont really want to. 

See, if you look at my posts, weeks, months pass w/o a post. I assure you plenty has happened & yes, the thought always crosses my mind "i really wanna write about this" but then....it passes. Would you like to know why. It's because I actually talk about my experiences with my friends. Be it in person, phones, txts, IM's, I tell someone. I share my story with an individual, usually someone I heart. Not a website. Not "dead-air". 

This led me to think. 

It's who I am. How I am. 

I AM a people person. I thrive on interaction. 

I'm emotional, irrational. I'm silly & childish. I'm a dreamer, I romanticize. 

I pay attention to the little things & believe a smile is worth more than anything.

I am stronger than what I appear to be.

I value my sincerity ,honesty, & empathy 

I am how I am

reunited & it feels so good....

oh bloggy blog! there's an app for you!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.6

baby steps back

dont feel abandoned. it's been months, i know. the thing is, when i WANT to post, i dont have the means to get to you (damn you BB) Even more , all the thoughts & feelings get so jumbled in my simple mind. i work myself up, then next thing you know POOF,the NEED to vent is over.

so much has happened. love, health, family, friends. a lot of change , a lot of adapting. hopefully we can catch up.

TEST

Test
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

the earth shook...my heart stopped

I woke up early Saturday morning , for no reason really. & as I checked the BBM status's, I see my besties......an earthquake hit Chile. I just stared at my phone. Googled the news & there it was, an earthquake stronger than what had hit Haiti had struck Chile, with tons of aftershocks. My heart, just sunk. So I txt her & wait. I wasnt too sure as to where her family is, whether they're in Concepcion or Santiago, maybe both. I watch the news, stay online. She finally responds, most family accounted for.

My mother wakes up & comes to my room, shes been crying. She was worried for cat's family. I couldnt help but cry too. I think I felt appreciative that my family loves & cares about those that I love so very much .

I head to her house & keep her company. & we just watch the news. & although what happened was catastrophic, Chile had everything under control. The U.S. was quick to offer assistance, & Chile, although appreciative,pretty much said "we'll get back to you on that". I absolutely loved it. I felt proud for Chile. Earthquakes arent some unknown event to them, they're prepared. They've had plans & funds all set.

I got into a conversation with a friend, he was "puzzled" as to why I was so concerned. That earthquakes happen, things like this happen. You can just hope for the best & move on. Life moves on. & while all that is true, & the fact that he has the innate ability to rationalize just about everything.....this was not one of those times.
When you love people, care about them, you love & care about what's important to them. You feel for them, you worry for them......it doesnt matter what it is or where. It's not about distance or who has more culture. If it's Haiti or Chile or Cincinnati.

To my gypsy, I love you.
Chile, you're in my prayers

Ki jan mwen ede?

How Can I Help.....

On January 12th Haiti was hit by what can only be described as the hand of God. An earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale shattered the islands capital, with the current death toll to estimate to be 200,000.

For all the bitching I do about my life, how I WANT the things I dont NEED. To then watch people suffer who dont have much to begin with....how dare I. How dare we.

I've donated like millions of others I'm sure. I've reached out to those I know who have families there, who look at the news & see their culture, their people, their hearts shaken.

I just feel compelled to do more, donating just doesnt feel adequate enough for the devastation.
I question my strength. If I could go there now, to help , would I. Could I.

Haiti, I'm sorry it took this, for us to see you.
-Love me

Distant boo-boo

Sana Sana
colita de rana,
si no sanas hoy
sanaras manana



missing my niece

SMACK

You would think that I would've learned to stay away. stupid girl I am. my question is how can I be the person I am, still have people in my life, w/o having having salt rubbed on a apparently still healing wound. *sigh* Sad part is, the REALLY sad part, is that why should I get emo. I'm doing amazing. Im not surrounded by no-bodies, or have an empty, unfulfilled life. I dont try to clusterfuck it with crap just to pass the time.

stop reminiscing on something that will never be the same. I'm a whole different person now & outgrown a lot of bad habits.
.....this baggage is so 2005, it doesnt match my 2010 couture

oh 2009.....

I expect 2010 to be fantastical, b/c you sir, were BEYOND terribad! This year came & went, & yet I'm exactly at the same place I started at. Sort of like those movie scenes/music videos, where the person is standing still but everything else is moving in super fast motion. (try to visualize people)
The year was marked with deaths & economic depression! There were bits of silver lining's, but sorry 2009, I have to say I know a lot of folks that are happy to see you go.

*SIGH*
Legends like Michael Jackson & Patrick Swayze passed away, shockers like DJ AM, John Travolta's son & recently Brittany Murphy. *sad face*

The amount of people that were let go from their jobs was disgusting. I saw people that I cared about hold their breathe while they waited to see if they'd end up losing heir job as well. My own job went from being "secure" to "we cant predict the future".

I've seen my parents struggle. Old age settle in & bad habits come back......still waiting to see how that'll play out in 2010.

My health, always the fun roller-coaster ride. Bad enough to scare to me, but nothing too serious *thank god*

*Smiley Face*
I finally got a new computer. Alienware at that! He's my baby, so far things are working out wonderfully. & I'm looking forward to our very happy future 2gether.....or until I have to upgrade him too.

I got to take my 1st "vacation" with my gypsy. Nothing exotic, but it doesnt take much to have a good weekend away. AND I got a new camera!! ^_^

It was a year filled with gaming gatherings. I got to show Ohio what NYC has to offer & went to Comic Con, in turn he showed me the country glam of his hometown, along with his amazing family. Had a geek moment with the guys watching Transformers 2 & gave them an introduction to Outback deliciousness.
Spent Halloween meeting a awesome PA group , who introduced me to BUZZ & in-turn, I made a skinny all-american boy an honorary latino ^_^!! lol

I got to check of an item on my bucket list!! Seeing Robin Williams live was AMAZING!! The man is the nutjob to say the least! But he represents so much to me, emotions were high. I felt bad for my cousin, who was probably chanting "dont have an asthma attack!" the entire night!

I realized that the people I keep close are all that matter. I had a very simple, yet very fun, birthday. Extremely cheesy at Medieval Times, but I had such a great time, b/c my friends heart my silly-ass!

To be continued..........
2009 was branded with devastating family news. Although the family is unbelievably large, they're few that have had a constant presence & impact in my life. One of those family members, my aunt, was diagnosed with cancer early in 2009. Towards the end its taken a toll on her & the family. We all worry for her, for each other. We hold our breathe & stay positive b/c we are strong, we have to be. We're Amazons.

2010 will be filled with loving myself & those around me. To do the things I've always wanted & fulfill goals that I keep pushing off. To move on & forgive. To grow up. To make a difference in my life & hopefully someone else's.

To the people who are constant, near & far.
Thank you.
For loving me, guiding me,
& baring with me.
I'd be lost without you