Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Avatar....I Heart You
Where do I even begin. Maybe by 1st stating that I absolutely adore Sci-Fi films. I try my damnedest to see them, especially ones that are "hyped". I almost feel obligated, along with video- game & comic-book based movies (except for Daredevil, GhostRider, Elektra....SMH) I'll admit, I 1st found out about Avatar during San Diego's Comic Con earlier this year. I was smitten'd with movie just by the trailer! Blue aliens, an exotic planet, the hint of an epic battle!!! hell yes!!
James Cameron had the idea in 1994, but chose to wait for technology to "catch up" in order to properly bring his vision to the big screen. & bravo sir, well worth it. Avatar is visually stunning, granted I saw it in IMAX, but regardless, Cameron created an entire Planet, a civilization. From the various lush jungle locations, to the nitty-gritty human colony, how could you not appreciate it. The man created an entire species, a language, a culture. Granted, most of it looked like a psychedelic acid trip, but genius none the less. The idea that an entire world is connected, something way beyond spiritually, beyond faith. But a literal bond to what we can only compare to brain synapses. Beautiful.
Yes, the plot is somewhat recycled. Yes, it's a familiar story; woe are the hippy hugging indigenous people, BOOOOOO to the evil coporate business man. Dances with Wolves meets Ferngully? Princess Mononoke? More than likely. But so what! How many crappy recycled plots are out there. HUNDREDS! That applies to everything, movies, music, television shows.....politicians. Get a grip folks.
I enjoy movies like this. Movies that take me to a different place, a different world......somewhere....that's not here. It's why I rather watch shows like Heroes & V as opposed to Gossip Girl & the like. I have my own RL drama & crap, I much rather lose myself in something that's beyond reality, a mini-mental-vacation if you will.
Why people dwell on the fact that the plot wasn't vastly original is beyond me, or that they couldn't form a connection to the characters & their devastation.
For those people that say Avatar missed the mark........I say, you guys missed the point entirely.
To all you other folks that arent into Sci-Fi goodness, it's ok, I forgive you ^_^
James Cameron had the idea in 1994, but chose to wait for technology to "catch up" in order to properly bring his vision to the big screen. & bravo sir, well worth it. Avatar is visually stunning, granted I saw it in IMAX, but regardless, Cameron created an entire Planet, a civilization. From the various lush jungle locations, to the nitty-gritty human colony, how could you not appreciate it. The man created an entire species, a language, a culture. Granted, most of it looked like a psychedelic acid trip, but genius none the less. The idea that an entire world is connected, something way beyond spiritually, beyond faith. But a literal bond to what we can only compare to brain synapses. Beautiful.
Yes, the plot is somewhat recycled. Yes, it's a familiar story; woe are the hippy hugging indigenous people, BOOOOOO to the evil coporate business man. Dances with Wolves meets Ferngully? Princess Mononoke? More than likely. But so what! How many crappy recycled plots are out there. HUNDREDS! That applies to everything, movies, music, television shows.....politicians. Get a grip folks.
I enjoy movies like this. Movies that take me to a different place, a different world......somewhere....that's not here. It's why I rather watch shows like Heroes & V as opposed to Gossip Girl & the like. I have my own RL drama & crap, I much rather lose myself in something that's beyond reality, a mini-mental-vacation if you will.
Why people dwell on the fact that the plot wasn't vastly original is beyond me, or that they couldn't form a connection to the characters & their devastation.
For those people that say Avatar missed the mark........I say, you guys missed the point entirely.
To all you other folks that arent into Sci-Fi goodness, it's ok, I forgive you ^_^
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Caroline's got asthma...
"Caroline's got asthma, and sometimes when we run
She has to stop 'cause she can't breathe, it really isn't fun.
Her breathing gets all wheezy and her skin becomes much paler,
And then she has to take a puff or two from her inhaler
Caroline's got asthma, but never makes a fuss
When she is late because she couldn't chase after the bus.
And sometimes when the lift breaks down we have to take the stairs
And Caroline says she's so glad she's got a friend who cares
Caroline's got asthma, her breathing isn't right,
And many times her mother sits beside her through the night
But though she's often feeling bad she doesn't let it show
And that is what makes Caroline the bravest girl I know "
-George Ansell-
She has to stop 'cause she can't breathe, it really isn't fun.
Her breathing gets all wheezy and her skin becomes much paler,
And then she has to take a puff or two from her inhaler
Caroline's got asthma, but never makes a fuss
When she is late because she couldn't chase after the bus.
And sometimes when the lift breaks down we have to take the stairs
And Caroline says she's so glad she's got a friend who cares
Caroline's got asthma, her breathing isn't right,
And many times her mother sits beside her through the night
But though she's often feeling bad she doesn't let it show
And that is what makes Caroline the bravest girl I know "
-George Ansell-
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Proud
I am proud to be the woman that I am. Proud to be the type of girl you marry. Proud to be the dorky, silly girl who laughs at the simplest of things. Proud to be the nice girl, the smart girl, the down to earth girl.
Tonight I had fun, I danced the night away, had a few drinks. Hung out with the amazing women I work with, the ones I'm lucky to call my friends & the ones who keep me sane in the midst of the nonsense.
Even though it's lonely at times, I'm pretty damn awesome!
So YAYE for being ME..............& not a "dirty vagina" LoL
Tonight I had fun, I danced the night away, had a few drinks. Hung out with the amazing women I work with, the ones I'm lucky to call my friends & the ones who keep me sane in the midst of the nonsense.
Even though it's lonely at times, I'm pretty damn awesome!
So YAYE for being ME..............& not a "dirty vagina" LoL
Friday, December 4, 2009
Oh Christmas Tree.......
So the Rockefeller tree is sorta a big deal in NYC *sarcasm* So my gypsy & I made it a date ESPECIALLY after learning about Alicia Keys & Shakira performing. I ventured into the city to pick her up & we decided to walk to Rockefeller.......little did we know, we had just embarked on a mini-adventure!
First off, who's the genius that decided to make a mini-mouse-maze to get to the damn tree?!?
(you get the idea)
So we finally get there! YAYE, right?! NO! Please remember that I am 5ft AND it was raining! So giants, throw some umbrella in there AND this is what it was like:
First off, who's the genius that decided to make a mini-mouse-maze to get to the damn tree?!?
(you get the idea)So we finally get there! YAYE, right?! NO! Please remember that I am 5ft AND it was raining! So giants, throw some umbrella in there AND this is what it was like:
After about almost 2 hrs of that, along with the lovely teenage couples making out in my face, & my gypsy about to clock someone in the face (b/c GOD FORBID we have our umbrellas out....in a rain storm.....smh people), we decide to leave.
Onto our journey for food. We settle for Outback, since we were in the land of fancy stores & expensive dining. We actually passed a place that had a pianist, lol. Somewhere along our walk, either I pulled something or my legs just swelled up or I had a cramp, I dunno. But by the time we got to Outback, my legs were broken! (exaggerated, maybe, but you get the point) Coincidentally, my aussie friend calls, chats it up with my gypsy. Who was highly entertained in deciphering his aussie linguistics , finding out about Hungry Jacks & the existence of only ONE Taco Bell !
It was a dinner filled with yummy food, story telling, jazz hands, air piano & the giggles! Well worth the head-cold & leg pain I have now, lol.
Onto our journey for food. We settle for Outback, since we were in the land of fancy stores & expensive dining. We actually passed a place that had a pianist, lol. Somewhere along our walk, either I pulled something or my legs just swelled up or I had a cramp, I dunno. But by the time we got to Outback, my legs were broken! (exaggerated, maybe, but you get the point) Coincidentally, my aussie friend calls, chats it up with my gypsy. Who was highly entertained in deciphering his aussie linguistics , finding out about Hungry Jacks & the existence of only ONE Taco Bell !
It was a dinner filled with yummy food, story telling, jazz hands, air piano & the giggles! Well worth the head-cold & leg pain I have now, lol.
To Laugh......
When I was a kid, I remember seeing a HBO special with Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg & Robin Williams. Robin Williams stuck out like a shiny new toy for me! Dont get me wrong, I know about his little drug & alcohol habits, his ADD, he's not perfect, by no means!
I remember him dancing around the stage, the accents, the mimicry, the sound effects, he did it all! From that day on, I associated him with laughter. That the ability to make someone laugh was an amazing talent & gift. I always said that I'd want to see/meet him before I died. It'd be a dream come true.
On November 28,2009 my dream came true!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Strength
-What cancer CANNOT do-
"Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit."
*my family is going to kick cancer in its face*
"Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit."
*my family is going to kick cancer in its face*Friday, November 6, 2009
Are you ever really "OK"?
I'm hoping that as I write this, it will make sense & not turn out to be some vomited emotional babble.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Given the timing/circumstances of a certain celebrities interview, we'll be hearing more of DV for the weeks to come. And I get it, her album is coming out, PERFECT timing, etc. But really people, that doesnt negate what happened to her. So whether you feel theres any stalk or sincerity to what shes saying, take a step back & breathe. YOU werent the one who went through it.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Given the timing/circumstances of a certain celebrities interview, we'll be hearing more of DV for the weeks to come. And I get it, her album is coming out, PERFECT timing, etc. But really people, that doesnt negate what happened to her. So whether you feel theres any stalk or sincerity to what shes saying, take a step back & breathe. YOU werent the one who went through it.
- almost 10 yrs ago, I was in an abusive relationship. I feared for my life & yet loved him with all my heart. So much that I was willing to marry him & move away.
- The last fight I was thrown down a flight of stairs & slammed against a wall. After that, it was over.....& even months after that, I still flew out to see him b/c I still loved him.
- I remember to this day, telling my best friend that if anything ever happened to me, that it was him, that he'd be the one that did it to me.
I dont care.
She spoke & from personal experience, that alone is heart breaking. Not b/c it's being told for you to hear, but for the person who's hearing themselves. The most intimate of self-reflections.
It is not easy to speak about domestic violence, "victims" are afraid, they always are, confused, always trying to comprehend what happened to them. Whether it was their own fault or the abuser's. Should they be angry with themselves?
Would you all have liked her to parade herself around all battered & bruised? Would that have made you all feel better about her abuse, more believable? More sympathetic? More REAL?
You all have no idea what it's like, what it feels like. What goes on inside our own head. It's so easy for you all to judge,you're all outside, just looking in. Such ignorance & criticism is exactly why so many women stay quiet, why so many women are ashamed & scared to come forward.
Love yourself 1st.
DV HOTLINE
Safe Horizon
She spoke & from personal experience, that alone is heart breaking. Not b/c it's being told for you to hear, but for the person who's hearing themselves. The most intimate of self-reflections.
It is not easy to speak about domestic violence, "victims" are afraid, they always are, confused, always trying to comprehend what happened to them. Whether it was their own fault or the abuser's. Should they be angry with themselves?
Would you all have liked her to parade herself around all battered & bruised? Would that have made you all feel better about her abuse, more believable? More sympathetic? More REAL?
You all have no idea what it's like, what it feels like. What goes on inside our own head. It's so easy for you all to judge,you're all outside, just looking in. Such ignorance & criticism is exactly why so many women stay quiet, why so many women are ashamed & scared to come forward.
DV HOTLINE
Safe Horizon
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Color me deep
In my self reflection, as always I'm craving a tattoo. I'm hoping to finish the connection from my side tattoo to my ribs. It's quite an addiction, tattoo's. I'm almost sure once you get one, you crave for more. You itch.
To each their own. What one person may deem as self mutilation, another views as art, and another views it as therapy.
To each their own. What one person may deem as self mutilation, another views as art, and another views it as therapy.
Our flesh, our body, our mind, our soul,
We pierce our skin, to leave a hole,
We probe our minds and make them think,
We color our body with pins and ink.
Art forms as old as Earth herself,
Knowledge of primitives, we treasure as wealth.
With pain we gain, with needle and pin,
Expressions of ourselves from deep within.
We cut, we scar, we bleed, we heal,
Happy with ourselves it makes us feel.
Our ink is our badges, our piercings our pride,
Body art is our expression, of our person inside.
Richard Powell
!!CRUSHING ON KAT VON D!!
We pierce our skin, to leave a hole,
We probe our minds and make them think,
We color our body with pins and ink.
Art forms as old as Earth herself,
Knowledge of primitives, we treasure as wealth.
With pain we gain, with needle and pin,
Expressions of ourselves from deep within.
We cut, we scar, we bleed, we heal,
Happy with ourselves it makes us feel.
Our ink is our badges, our piercings our pride,
Body art is our expression, of our person inside.
Richard Powell
!!CRUSHING ON KAT VON D!!Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Epiphany...better late than never
Nothing chaotic or frantic. Nothing "impulsive".
Almost like a light at the end of the tunnel.
A sigh of relief.
For some time now I've been trying to figure out what I want, in regards to life, work, where I want to be. I havent been able to figure it out really. Coincidentally, yesterday we had a training downtown. How to cope with stress, to take care of ourselves, put ourselves 1st. The VP of our program is leaving, she's starting her own private practice, getting back to what she's always wanted to do, something that she lost touch with while living her life. & in her "goodbye" speech, she said something. That she wasnt happy, that she wasnt taking care of herself, that she got so consumed with living her life, that she never really looked at the quality of it.Almost like a light at the end of the tunnel.
A sigh of relief.
there....that was it.....I'm not happy
After working for almost 2yrs now in a non-profit org, I know I want to do something community/health related. Do I have the proper training, no. Experience, yes. So obviously, this is something I need to work on.
Living conditions, oh where do I begin. I am suffocating, literally drowning in the sorrows of my family. Am I wrong for thinking that aloud? I'm sure if I wasnt at home, cornered in my little den, it'd be different. I'd have some physical space to be able to deal with family issues. But when you live at home, it eats away at you. No one is to blame but myself, why the hell am I still at home anyways!! smh @ me!
So with all that said, I think its time for me & NYC to break up. Perhaps start seeing other people. We're just not compatible. He's abusive, chaotic, all in all, unhealthy for me. The city is all I know, it's instilled in me. But who's to say it's all I SHOULD KNOW. I love my city, but really, what am I doing here. I'm not happy, I'm not living the GOSSIP GIRL life, nor do I want it. I'm exhausted with the the rat race, annoyed with the hussel & bussel of our concrete jungle. Tired of clenching my jaw while riding the MTA, the constant exhaustion from just living here.
Dont get me wrong, I CAN live here, I CAN DO THIS.....I just think I dont want to anymore.
The only reason I'm at this point in my life is because of myself & the decisions I've made. Not trying to sound "deep", but our past dictates our future, so our decisions today will effect our 2moro.
So yea, with 2009 almost at its end, 2010 will be filled with changes & new beginnings.
"Maybe I can't leave New York. I don't know how I'd do someplace else"
-Believe me, your fabulousness would translate-
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Latino in America: Toss out the dream & Embrace the Stereotype?
Oh CNN, you tricky bastards. I tuned in last night, like many other Hispanics, to what we thought was going to be a positive, inspiring, empowering documentary of Latino's in America. & to our dismay & disappointment, it turned out to be 2hrs of emphasizing negative stereotypes & damaging to our culture.
Where do I begin......focusing on not 1, but TWO young Latina's who got pregnant in H.S.? How about the NYC family who lives in ATL, & their children have no sense of identity b/c they're not surrounded by latino's? Or the torn catholic community in Texas who can't get it together & just have bilingual services? But wait.....thankfully they had Lorena Garcia, popular bilingual chef, to salvage the show. Not to mention brief outtakes from Eva Longoria & Geroge Lopez.
I will admit, I was unfamiliar with CNN & its ongoing support with lovely Lou Dobbs & his anti-latino , "Mexico is our enemy"campaign. So, needless to say after reading some articles, this documentary was a sad attempt to gather a latino audience & perhaps make amends?
......really CNN
The truth is, not all Latino's/Hispanics have had the same experience coming to and living in America. This documentary should focus more on overcoming the hardships, success stories, achievements of our people. Not focus on how America already sees us. It is no secret about teenage pregnancy in Latino families, no cover-up on how poverty plagues us, no obliviousness to discrimination to us & our culture. This is reality, we know, America knows.
But where's the segment on young latino's who finished school, got a Masters, PhD even. The ones who didnt get pregnant, who didnt grow up in the projects. Whose parents are successful, bilinguil & who remind their children of their identity & their culture & what it is to NOT BE THE STEREOTYPE. Where is the part where about Latino contributions to America rather than us being a burden. Where is the minority WITHIN the minority!?!
Another example, they MENTION Eva Longoria & all they could say was her winning an ALMA award & that she hosted this year. Are you kidding me?! Eva started Eva's Heroes, a charity that helps disabled children AND shes the national spokesperson for PADRES, Contra La Cancer. Thats only scratching the surface of her charity work & achievements, and all they could say that she won an award?! & what about the ALMA awards, are they going to even mention the National Council of La Raza?!
Doubt it right.....because that group didn't grow up in the slums, they're educated & speak english & dont have 10 kids, right!
Shame on you CNN, shame on us for expecting anything positive from such a biased network. If anything, I learned that I am not THAT latina in america.
I am a 2nd generation college graduate
I did not come from a broken home
I speak both english & spanish
I was never a teenage mother
I have career
I AM LATINA
Where do I begin......focusing on not 1, but TWO young Latina's who got pregnant in H.S.? How about the NYC family who lives in ATL, & their children have no sense of identity b/c they're not surrounded by latino's? Or the torn catholic community in Texas who can't get it together & just have bilingual services? But wait.....thankfully they had Lorena Garcia, popular bilingual chef, to salvage the show. Not to mention brief outtakes from Eva Longoria & Geroge Lopez.
I will admit, I was unfamiliar with CNN & its ongoing support with lovely Lou Dobbs & his anti-latino , "Mexico is our enemy"campaign. So, needless to say after reading some articles, this documentary was a sad attempt to gather a latino audience & perhaps make amends?
......really CNN
The truth is, not all Latino's/Hispanics have had the same experience coming to and living in America. This documentary should focus more on overcoming the hardships, success stories, achievements of our people. Not focus on how America already sees us. It is no secret about teenage pregnancy in Latino families, no cover-up on how poverty plagues us, no obliviousness to discrimination to us & our culture. This is reality, we know, America knows.
But where's the segment on young latino's who finished school, got a Masters, PhD even. The ones who didnt get pregnant, who didnt grow up in the projects. Whose parents are successful, bilinguil & who remind their children of their identity & their culture & what it is to NOT BE THE STEREOTYPE. Where is the part where about Latino contributions to America rather than us being a burden. Where is the minority WITHIN the minority!?!
Another example, they MENTION Eva Longoria & all they could say was her winning an ALMA award & that she hosted this year. Are you kidding me?! Eva started Eva's Heroes, a charity that helps disabled children AND shes the national spokesperson for PADRES, Contra La Cancer. Thats only scratching the surface of her charity work & achievements, and all they could say that she won an award?! & what about the ALMA awards, are they going to even mention the National Council of La Raza?!
Doubt it right.....because that group didn't grow up in the slums, they're educated & speak english & dont have 10 kids, right!
Shame on you CNN, shame on us for expecting anything positive from such a biased network. If anything, I learned that I am not THAT latina in america.
I am a 2nd generation college graduate
I did not come from a broken home
I speak both english & spanish
I was never a teenage mother
I have career
I AM LATINA
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
*dances*
- almost my birthday, looking 4ward to Sunday & heading out to medieval times with my hearts. it's going to be so disgustingly cheesy, i love it! lol
- more gamer-friend encounters come Halloween weekend. very xcited.
- Rihanna's new single is some powerful shit.
- CANNOT WAIT to see Robin Williams in November!!! literally, heart jumping out my chest!
- Russel Brand & Katy Perry are an item *swoon*
birthday list.....hmmm
- air purifier! (yea....i'm a sick geek >.<)
- WoW game-cards (cuz I am a geek like that, ^_^)
- can never go wrong with earrings!
- Hershey!!
- anything comic related (phoenix, catwoman,poison ivy, harley quinn,etc)
- penguins!
- Alice in Wonderland
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Warrior Woman
In my wildest dreams I never thought
I would be the person I have become
Just the quiet little mouse I used to be
Now become a warrior woman fighting
For what she thinks is hers by right
The chance to live each day in peace
Serene and wise maybe I would be
But first comes the battleground
Long ago I was so scared of life
Now I grab it by the throat tightly
And face all it brings me head on
I'm not afraid of anything anymore
Not even time itself can phase me
The new day brings its challenges
I smile and take a step with hope
Nothing more will ever beat me
*Fiona Davidson*
I would be the person I have become
Just the quiet little mouse I used to be
Now become a warrior woman fighting
For what she thinks is hers by right
The chance to live each day in peace
Serene and wise maybe I would be
But first comes the battleground
Long ago I was so scared of life
Now I grab it by the throat tightly
And face all it brings me head on
I'm not afraid of anything anymore
Not even time itself can phase me
The new day brings its challenges
I smile and take a step with hope
Nothing more will ever beat me
*Fiona Davidson*
- sometimes you have look deep inside yourself, to be the strength for others
- I am a "split down the middle" of my parents
Friday, October 16, 2009
Feeling Yummier.....
oh happy happy happy face!
Yesterday ended rather well, considering the emo-trip I had for the majority of the day. Met up with MaMa, for some "fat-girl, no thinking" time ^_^
We tried to shop at H&M, but with the random winter/tropical storm that hit, it was a rather unsuccessful attempt,lol. What i did learn was that short people & low-waisted coats do not making a happy marriage. what you look like is something close to a stumpy munchkin trying to look fashionable. Needless to say, the hunt for a new wool coat continues.
The cold air was unbearable. I seriously need to remind myself that I'm asthmatic!! walking in the city yesterday was like being on a roller-coaster ride, every time I tried to breath, my chest would lock up. *sigh* So we made the very good decision to hit up Benihana's!!!! Totally near by & a change from our usually pilgrimage to Outback!! lol Pricy, but well worth it, imo.
So an observation was made. People are unbelievably oblivious to their surroundings. As me & mel sat contently in our corner seating, our dinner party (for those that are unfamiliar, Benihana will have you share a "dinner table" with others, considering the size or you party. Its hibachi, so it works out better that way) So as the Spaniard mother with 2 daughters went catty on one another, the 2 "bff's" that sat across from us, were chatting up a storm. I mean, THEY WOULD NOT STOP!!!! and at an audible level at that! So while these characters kept us entertained, me & mel ate our food & drank our sake.
Yesterday ended rather well, considering the emo-trip I had for the majority of the day. Met up with MaMa, for some "fat-girl, no thinking" time ^_^
We tried to shop at H&M, but with the random winter/tropical storm that hit, it was a rather unsuccessful attempt,lol. What i did learn was that short people & low-waisted coats do not making a happy marriage. what you look like is something close to a stumpy munchkin trying to look fashionable. Needless to say, the hunt for a new wool coat continues.
The cold air was unbearable. I seriously need to remind myself that I'm asthmatic!! walking in the city yesterday was like being on a roller-coaster ride, every time I tried to breath, my chest would lock up. *sigh* So we made the very good decision to hit up Benihana's!!!! Totally near by & a change from our usually pilgrimage to Outback!! lol Pricy, but well worth it, imo.
So an observation was made. People are unbelievably oblivious to their surroundings. As me & mel sat contently in our corner seating, our dinner party (for those that are unfamiliar, Benihana will have you share a "dinner table" with others, considering the size or you party. Its hibachi, so it works out better that way) So as the Spaniard mother with 2 daughters went catty on one another, the 2 "bff's" that sat across from us, were chatting up a storm. I mean, THEY WOULD NOT STOP!!!! and at an audible level at that! So while these characters kept us entertained, me & mel ate our food & drank our sake.
- my bday care-package got to my friend in time for his bday, yaye Post Office!
- i keep missing Flash Forward & Fringe *grrrrr* i need DVR
- 10 days till my bday
- wont be spending Halloween in NYC this year, after last years catastrophe, I rather just spend it with my cousin (who loves the xmas -like holiday just as much as me) From what I've been hearing, the parade is on the borderline of not even happening, no budget & artists needing to save their own money. THAT, & the fact that low-lifes & hoodlums have found their way into our little festivities, increasing police presence . I just rather not deal with it.
- donuts & coffee always brighten anyone's morning
Thursday, October 15, 2009
.....Tired
ever feel like your emotions are pulling you all sorts of ways. It's draining, it's stressful......it's tiring.
- age is becoming more & more apparent. not b/c of my upcoming birthday, but b/c the family members I grew up with are getting much older & life is taking a toll on them. We all have family members we "hear" about, or that "cousin" from that side of the family, you know Juan Doe's 2nd son. But when it's the immediate people, the people you genuinely know, you worry.....you hope for the best even if deep down you know it may not work out that way.
- sanctuary, i need it. my own personal space. my own fortress of solitude.
- being a "good person" isnt as rewarding as one might think. & its really starting to annoy the hell out of me
- i need to occupy my time with something other than WoW, something productive.
- i think im allergic to apples.....how messed up is that!!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Dear Younger Me,
Blogger whore, Perez Hilton, did this for a magazine & I think its a fantabulous idea. So here it goes:
Dear Little Me,
*-Being a teenager IS as hard as it seems.- You'll feel awkward & be a follower & desperately want to fit in. Take a step back from everything & breathe. It's ok to not be like everyone else. It's ok to not be in the "cool kid club". You'll surround yourself with tons of people, but will come out with handful of real friends. You'll learn people are different, people grow up & people change. That's life, you'll change too hun! You'll learn that it's way cooler to be an individual & unique than being a groupie AND you'll meet alot more interesting people along the way too!
*-It sucks being sick!- It sucks always being in the doctors/hospitals/ER's, etc! I'm sorry but this is a little trait that will never let up. But what you'll learn is that no matter how fragile you are, you will always be strong enough to deal with it. Do your damn school-work & study hard! The better the education, the better the job , the better the insurance!!! ^_^
*-Racism & discrimination- will always be around. The worst is when its from your own culture. Being a light-skinned puerto rican will have its trials & tribulations. You can not change peoples ignorance, you can only attempt to broaden their mind. Do not feel bad b/c you do not sound like Rosie Perez or look like J.Lo. But know this much, be proud of where your family comes from. I know salsa in the morning annoys you and your father trying to teach you spanish will be like nails on chalkboard. But believe it or not, you will fall in love with Hector Lavoe & Frankie Ruiz! You will jump to the dance floor at the mere hint of an old salsa song! And you will eventually master Spanglish like the linguist you truly are!! You will look at your parents & appreciate the struggle they went through so you & your brother didn't have to. You will strive to not be the stereotype! "soy boricua pa que lo sepa"!
* -You will always be a kid at heart!!! Rock on with your cartoon & comic fascination! No, there isn't anything wrong with playing video games! This will ALWAYS be your thing, this will make you happy when you're down & out. Knowing the facts about the Hulk, X-Men, Spiderman, even Dr.Strange & all the rest, will hold so much more value to you rather then knowing the name of the latest club/lounge/party. Let's face it, you will be the cool guys-girl who knows her DC/Marvel trivia, who can hold her own on a Hulk VS SuperMan debate, & make a dude work for his in a Street Fighter throw down. You will graduate to PC gaming & forever be tied to World of Warcraft. Dont worry, there's a whole world of geeks out there, waiting to meet you <3 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">shouldn't hurt.........no matter what you may feel or what they may say, don't ever let anyone put their hands on you or belittle you or worse! love yourself 1st, put yourself 1st, you're all you have in the end<3 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">frolicking around a PC game. These will be the ones you call your sanity's & hearts. They will be by your side through the best and worst of times. they will love you when your weak & vulnerable. they will make sense of your craziness. they smack you in the head when you act up ^_^
*-the world- you will bear witness to events that will 4ever mark your brain & your heart. You will have your own "Pearl harbor". You will see what hateful people will do to make a point, the pain that they will inflict on others & feel justified. You will walk 9 miles home one day and even though, you & thousands of others are terrified, you all know you must go on. Through the dust & tears, you'll see a nation unite & a city rise above the rubble. On those days, NYC will brand your heart.
Remember to breathe
-Me-
Dear Little Me,
*-Being a teenager IS as hard as it seems.- You'll feel awkward & be a follower & desperately want to fit in. Take a step back from everything & breathe. It's ok to not be like everyone else. It's ok to not be in the "cool kid club". You'll surround yourself with tons of people, but will come out with handful of real friends. You'll learn people are different, people grow up & people change. That's life, you'll change too hun! You'll learn that it's way cooler to be an individual & unique than being a groupie AND you'll meet alot more interesting people along the way too!
*-It sucks being sick!- It sucks always being in the doctors/hospitals/ER's, etc! I'm sorry but this is a little trait that will never let up. But what you'll learn is that no matter how fragile you are, you will always be strong enough to deal with it. Do your damn school-work & study hard! The better the education, the better the job , the better the insurance!!! ^_^
*-Racism & discrimination- will always be around. The worst is when its from your own culture. Being a light-skinned puerto rican will have its trials & tribulations. You can not change peoples ignorance, you can only attempt to broaden their mind. Do not feel bad b/c you do not sound like Rosie Perez or look like J.Lo. But know this much, be proud of where your family comes from. I know salsa in the morning annoys you and your father trying to teach you spanish will be like nails on chalkboard. But believe it or not, you will fall in love with Hector Lavoe & Frankie Ruiz! You will jump to the dance floor at the mere hint of an old salsa song! And you will eventually master Spanglish like the linguist you truly are!! You will look at your parents & appreciate the struggle they went through so you & your brother didn't have to. You will strive to not be the stereotype! "soy boricua pa que lo sepa"!
* -You will always be a kid at heart!!! Rock on with your cartoon & comic fascination! No, there isn't anything wrong with playing video games! This will ALWAYS be your thing, this will make you happy when you're down & out. Knowing the facts about the Hulk, X-Men, Spiderman, even Dr.Strange & all the rest, will hold so much more value to you rather then knowing the name of the latest club/lounge/party. Let's face it, you will be the cool guys-girl who knows her DC/Marvel trivia, who can hold her own on a Hulk VS SuperMan debate, & make a dude work for his in a Street Fighter throw down. You will graduate to PC gaming & forever be tied to World of Warcraft. Dont worry, there's a whole world of geeks out there, waiting to meet you <3 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">shouldn't hurt.........no matter what you may feel or what they may say, don't ever let anyone put their hands on you or belittle you or worse! love yourself 1st, put yourself 1st, you're all you have in the end<3 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">frolicking around a PC game. These will be the ones you call your sanity's & hearts. They will be by your side through the best and worst of times. they will love you when your weak & vulnerable. they will make sense of your craziness. they smack you in the head when you act up ^_^
*-the world- you will bear witness to events that will 4ever mark your brain & your heart. You will have your own "Pearl harbor". You will see what hateful people will do to make a point, the pain that they will inflict on others & feel justified. You will walk 9 miles home one day and even though, you & thousands of others are terrified, you all know you must go on. Through the dust & tears, you'll see a nation unite & a city rise above the rubble. On those days, NYC will brand your heart.
Remember to breathe
-Me-
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."
What to do with myself?!?!? oh the woes of adulthood. Close to 30 with no "EPIC" accomplishments. No 2.5 kids & a house with a picket fence. No finding the cure for cancer. No PhD in something fancy.
Just a bachelors in art, a stable job (for lack of a better word), my roommates are my parents, & as for love, I love myself. I can deal with that.
I think we all tend to want what we dont have. All we do is consume, take, w/o really appreciating what we have. Especially during these "desperate times. I'm not saying that we shouldn't aspire to better ourselves. We should always strive to improve ourselves & our quality of life. But sometimes you have to "suck it up" for the time being. Dont waste time whining & bitching about the cards that you're dealt. Either make moves to change you're circumstanes, or deal with it.
Just a bachelors in art, a stable job (for lack of a better word), my roommates are my parents, & as for love, I love myself. I can deal with that.
I think we all tend to want what we dont have. All we do is consume, take, w/o really appreciating what we have. Especially during these "desperate times. I'm not saying that we shouldn't aspire to better ourselves. We should always strive to improve ourselves & our quality of life. But sometimes you have to "suck it up" for the time being. Dont waste time whining & bitching about the cards that you're dealt. Either make moves to change you're circumstanes, or deal with it.
*It really is THAT simple.*
We're all entitled to get upset, frustrated, tired. But we can only run that rant for so long . Make moves people, that includes myself ^_^
We're all entitled to get upset, frustrated, tired. But we can only run that rant for so long . Make moves people, that includes myself ^_^
*Dear Target, see you soon*
Thursday, September 3, 2009
>.<
Migraine Migraine, go away
You hurt too much
& ruin my day
1 pill, 2 pill
& still you stay.
Ice packs, coffee,
Consume my day.
Silence, darkness
In bed I lay.
Damnit Migraine , go away
You hurt too much
& ruin my day
1 pill, 2 pill
& still you stay.
Ice packs, coffee,
Consume my day.
Silence, darkness
In bed I lay.
Damnit Migraine , go away
Monday, August 31, 2009
FantasTical!!!
had an amazing weekend celebrating the BFF's birthday! everyone looked beautius and totally did it up!
i always get a lil extra tipsy at her bdays, but never at mine, whats up with that!? lol
Saturdays dinner was disgustingly delicious!! lol cold & hot mussels, lobster tail with cheese ravioli, & then steak!!!! ending with a homemade cake! unbelievable! most food I've eaten since the surgery & it was freaking awesome!
such a positive vibe all weekend long, i love the people in my life!
i always get a lil extra tipsy at her bdays, but never at mine, whats up with that!? lol
Saturdays dinner was disgustingly delicious!! lol cold & hot mussels, lobster tail with cheese ravioli, & then steak!!!! ending with a homemade cake! unbelievable! most food I've eaten since the surgery & it was freaking awesome!
such a positive vibe all weekend long, i love the people in my life!
*am truly considering perming my hair. curls r awesome, yea i know i'm ass-backwards*
*i want my computer NOW!! freaking Vid card delay*
* damn u cat for putting me on to Farmville AND Yoville...cuz WoW isnt enough*
* damn u again for showing me the Ikea catalog *
* time to make moves to my own place*
*i want my computer NOW!! freaking Vid card delay*
* damn u cat for putting me on to Farmville AND Yoville...cuz WoW isnt enough*
* damn u again for showing me the Ikea catalog *
* time to make moves to my own place*
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
"beat her down brown"
so chris brown got 5yrs probation & a few days "hard labor". really.....he beats his GF, goes on about his life, & thats it!?
i dont know whats worse, the fact that stardom shields you from the real consequences of ur actions or that this is how the law really handles DV cases!?!!?
SMH
i dont know whats worse, the fact that stardom shields you from the real consequences of ur actions or that this is how the law really handles DV cases!?!!?
SMH
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
lively update
so, things r looking up after the wisdom teeth removal! i looked pretty horrific after it even came to work looking like i swollowed a fish bowl. lol
* damn that mall for opening up by my house. i wanna go to best buy, target & bed bath & beyond EVERYDAY!!
* ordered my new comp (round 2 with DELL) gets here Monday, it better work!!
*bff's bday is friday, wow. almost 10yrs being my sanity. oosh, we're almost 30!!! lol
* i need a dress!!
* damn that mall for opening up by my house. i wanna go to best buy, target & bed bath & beyond EVERYDAY!!
* ordered my new comp (round 2 with DELL) gets here Monday, it better work!!
*bff's bday is friday, wow. almost 10yrs being my sanity. oosh, we're almost 30!!! lol
* i need a dress!!
Friday, August 14, 2009
patience.....not a virture
*sigh*
the air in waiting rooms is always filled with anxiety, tension, shaken nerves, mainly impatience.
I am a constant regular at doc offices, ER's & the like, I am quite familiar with the workings of them. & yet here I am, impatient as ever, anxious as hell! probably b/c i know whats about to happen, more so the relief that i'll get as soon as it's over!!!
who cares if i look like i had a run-in with Chris Brown! (low blow, i know, but made me laugh)
BTW,
can my mother stop being a back-seat driver to life!!!!! has to give her opinions & 2cents to everything & everyone!! the worst!!
the air in waiting rooms is always filled with anxiety, tension, shaken nerves, mainly impatience.
I am a constant regular at doc offices, ER's & the like, I am quite familiar with the workings of them. & yet here I am, impatient as ever, anxious as hell! probably b/c i know whats about to happen, more so the relief that i'll get as soon as it's over!!!
who cares if i look like i had a run-in with Chris Brown! (low blow, i know, but made me laugh)
BTW,
can my mother stop being a back-seat driver to life!!!!! has to give her opinions & 2cents to everything & everyone!! the worst!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Curiouser and Curiouser
Quiet the interesting conversation with a male bff,
My automatic response is "of course it's ok"! & why shouldn't it be? I have very few close friends, & they mean the world to me, if someone is with me, they'll know that. And at the same time, the relationship that I establish with that individual is equally important. It all comes down to honesty & being secure with who you are & the bonds you have with the individuals you have in your life. I can only speak for myself based on my experiences. Everyone serves a purpose, & no matter how close or "in-love" you may be with your significant other, you'll always need an outlet, a neutral source for venting. Obviously, 3am phone calls for chit-chat probably wont hold well, but regardless, why should someone feel uncomfortable with relationships that are pre-established before they even came into the mix.
Now to be fair, obviously if your guy/girl is going around calling EVERYONE their BFF/homeboy/homegirl, then you may want to raise an eyebrow. How can you possibly differentiate the relationships? what does that say about the individual with such a large "inner circle"? Thats just nonsense, imo. I dealt with that BS for quite sometime, never that again. Hence why honesty is such a huge important factor.
Maybe I'm still naive as to how relationships work, or have to face facts that everyone lies? But I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Till then, my friends are still around.....<3
"Are opposite sex best friends acceptable after marriage?"
My automatic response is "of course it's ok"! & why shouldn't it be? I have very few close friends, & they mean the world to me, if someone is with me, they'll know that. And at the same time, the relationship that I establish with that individual is equally important. It all comes down to honesty & being secure with who you are & the bonds you have with the individuals you have in your life. I can only speak for myself based on my experiences. Everyone serves a purpose, & no matter how close or "in-love" you may be with your significant other, you'll always need an outlet, a neutral source for venting. Obviously, 3am phone calls for chit-chat probably wont hold well, but regardless, why should someone feel uncomfortable with relationships that are pre-established before they even came into the mix.
Now to be fair, obviously if your guy/girl is going around calling EVERYONE their BFF/homeboy/homegirl, then you may want to raise an eyebrow. How can you possibly differentiate the relationships? what does that say about the individual with such a large "inner circle"? Thats just nonsense, imo. I dealt with that BS for quite sometime, never that again. Hence why honesty is such a huge important factor.
Maybe I'm still naive as to how relationships work, or have to face facts that everyone lies? But I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Till then, my friends are still around.....<3
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
ouchy!
So Sunday I did the March For Babies walk (previously known as the March of Dimes) in Long Island. It's now Wednesday, & i still have the sickest sunburn on my arms!!! It's like i have red sleeves!!! I woke up Monday swollen in the face from this horrible disaster! *sigh* lol
Going away for Memorial Day weekend, pretty xcited!! 1st time I've ever done anything for that. AND, its the Hamptons, FANCY, lol!!
It's almost been a month since I've started my healthy-diet. I've slipped up a few times, going out for dinner, bbq's, taco's, that damn OutBack, but all in all, doing pretty damn good! Cut my soda intake to 1 pepsi/fanta every 3-4 days. Drinking alot more water & vitamin water. I even started eating salads!!! GASP!
This diet isn't about "being skinny", it's about taking care of myself. & eating mangu 5 days a week & fast food is no damn good. The weight I've gained is due to crappy eating habits & laziness!! I haven't practiced my yoga or done a crunch in almost a year. Now that's just crazy.
Lalala, summer's almost here, can we get a decent spring first!!
Going away for Memorial Day weekend, pretty xcited!! 1st time I've ever done anything for that. AND, its the Hamptons, FANCY, lol!!
It's almost been a month since I've started my healthy-diet. I've slipped up a few times, going out for dinner, bbq's, taco's, that damn OutBack, but all in all, doing pretty damn good! Cut my soda intake to 1 pepsi/fanta every 3-4 days. Drinking alot more water & vitamin water. I even started eating salads!!! GASP!
This diet isn't about "being skinny", it's about taking care of myself. & eating mangu 5 days a week & fast food is no damn good. The weight I've gained is due to crappy eating habits & laziness!! I haven't practiced my yoga or done a crunch in almost a year. Now that's just crazy.
Lalala, summer's almost here, can we get a decent spring first!!
Friday, April 3, 2009
how do I update my Personal Drive
“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” -Carrie
^^This.
Why can't I ever post something positive or good? This "once in a while blog" is almost like a small trail of my own personal demise. Or maybe I'm looking at it wrong. Maybe my path to self-discovery? to be determined i guess.
So after getting the work evaluation from hell & then doing my taxes, it was nothing short of getting shot in the stomach by a shotgun. When did being an adult turn into hell? I mean, you hear people talk about hell after death, but nope.....pretty sure there are a few of us that are living it right now.
I remember when was I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult!! & now I am, so whydo I still feel like a kid lost in a department store. Blargh!
I wonder how other people do it, still go out clubbing & have so many more friends than one person can manage. I cant. At the end of the day, I'm too physically & mentally drained to do much. I almost feel bad for not talking to the few friends I have, but to be perfectly honest, what would be the point. Only to dredge on & on about the same "boo-hoo rant" as usual. I'm sure they could careless, actually they've already shown little to no interest. can you blame them?
Personally, I like my little handful of friends. I dont have the attention span to make more. Does that make me a bitch, nope. Just brutally honest. No, I dont want to hang out with John or Jane Doe & get to know you & be BFF's. lol
When did being an adult get so lonely? hmmmm, when did I become so Emo?
I need a vacation.
& my contacts broke, grrrrrrr
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Further down the rabbit hole........
Why is it when one bad thing happens, it always brings friends? You're bombarded with so much bad news or happenings that you begin to doubt if you'll ever see the light of day that is your peace of mind.
With ER visits thanks to my new found "old lady asthma", an aunt in the hospital, & my own family going through, yet again, "hard times", it seems that the limitations of my physical & mental strength are being constantly pushed.
A friend linked an article: What it Takes to be a Survivor, "Why do some people live and others die? Why do a few stay calm and collected under extreme pressure when others panic and unravel? How do some bounce back from adversity while others collapse and surrender?"
An amazing article about how some people can deal with the issues, rather, acknowledge them, while others suffer, for lack of a better word, from "inattentional blindness" or "incredulity response." People are unable to see the urgency's of situations happening around them, & in turn, go about their lives. They're either unable to cope or refuse to cope, & are unable to make decisions regarding the matter, so instead they just go about their business.
Why do some people go for the bottle when times get rough? or cry when they're upset? or close themselves from the world?
My aunt is in dire need of constant medical supervision, preferably in a rehabilitation center in order for her to recover from her recent surgery, & yet she & her husband chose to have her home, with a nurse only visiting once a day, for one hour at that. My mom is panicking at what may happen while shes here & my aunt is in NJ, will there be consequences to their decisions? meanwhile my parents are at another crossroads & the timing couldn't be any more worse with my aunt in the hospital & their anniversary coming up.
I am not the 14 yr old girl who struggled to keep her family together. Things have changed, I've changed. How am I supposed to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves? Who has already went down that path & yet, through all the hurt & pain its caused my family, has chosen to go down it once again? As harsh as it may sound, "it isn't my job to save my parents", as my cousin puts it. It's just harder since I'm still at home....locking myself away in my room can only do so much.
I almost feel selfish,being upset with myself that I'm not financially secure enough to be on my own. To be able to deal with my own problems, my own drama. To not have to referee other peoples arguments, mediate other peoples situations. Isn't it bad enough that I buffer situations at my own job, don't I get to have a place where I can gather my thoughts. Don't I deserve a Fortress of Solitude? I AM family oriented, in the end, they're all I have. But where do I cross the line?
I need to save whatever little sanity & health I have left, before I fall so far down, I won't remember what daylight looks like.
With ER visits thanks to my new found "old lady asthma", an aunt in the hospital, & my own family going through, yet again, "hard times", it seems that the limitations of my physical & mental strength are being constantly pushed.
A friend linked an article: What it Takes to be a Survivor, "Why do some people live and others die? Why do a few stay calm and collected under extreme pressure when others panic and unravel? How do some bounce back from adversity while others collapse and surrender?"
An amazing article about how some people can deal with the issues, rather, acknowledge them, while others suffer, for lack of a better word, from "inattentional blindness" or "incredulity response." People are unable to see the urgency's of situations happening around them, & in turn, go about their lives. They're either unable to cope or refuse to cope, & are unable to make decisions regarding the matter, so instead they just go about their business.
Why do some people go for the bottle when times get rough? or cry when they're upset? or close themselves from the world?
My aunt is in dire need of constant medical supervision, preferably in a rehabilitation center in order for her to recover from her recent surgery, & yet she & her husband chose to have her home, with a nurse only visiting once a day, for one hour at that. My mom is panicking at what may happen while shes here & my aunt is in NJ, will there be consequences to their decisions? meanwhile my parents are at another crossroads & the timing couldn't be any more worse with my aunt in the hospital & their anniversary coming up.
I am not the 14 yr old girl who struggled to keep her family together. Things have changed, I've changed. How am I supposed to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves? Who has already went down that path & yet, through all the hurt & pain its caused my family, has chosen to go down it once again? As harsh as it may sound, "it isn't my job to save my parents", as my cousin puts it. It's just harder since I'm still at home....locking myself away in my room can only do so much.
I almost feel selfish,being upset with myself that I'm not financially secure enough to be on my own. To be able to deal with my own problems, my own drama. To not have to referee other peoples arguments, mediate other peoples situations. Isn't it bad enough that I buffer situations at my own job, don't I get to have a place where I can gather my thoughts. Don't I deserve a Fortress of Solitude? I AM family oriented, in the end, they're all I have. But where do I cross the line?
I need to save whatever little sanity & health I have left, before I fall so far down, I won't remember what daylight looks like.
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