Walking Wounded

Have you ever been told ,"it's not you , it's me"? One of the most popular relationship cop-outs ever, wouldn't you agree? But what if the problem REALLY is YOU, you & your damn emotional baggage.

Yes, we all have some sort of baggage & with all things in life, it's all in how you deal with it. Some people try to keep their baggage down to the minimum , a carry-on if you will. While others have an entire designer collection packed up for what should be 2 day getaway.

Maybe it's been a few months or even a few years since your bout of relationship fuckery , whether it was abusive, they cheated, they stole, they lied....just plain ol'fucekry. But low & behold, something happens & your carry on, which you could have sworn was securely put away, falls flying out of the overhead compartment. All your fears, insecurities, anger & bitterness out for the world to see & there you have it, you're faced with the reality that you're the Walking Wounded.

The challenge is trying to not let it sabotage any future relationships. Because the truth is, once another person is introduced into the mix, those wounds/bags dont only affect you.

They may cause you to put up walls or stay away from commitment. In the mind of the Walking Wounded,  they're literally shielding themselves from getting hurt. A protective force-field. But at the same time, they're shutting out any possibility of love. Which , hey if that's what you want, great. Nothing wrong with being single. But is that REALLY it, or are you scared to death of getting hurt again?

There's the ever so popular, "fuck (wo)men" approach. No, not literally, I mean the "I'll be a bitch/jerk for no reason" one.For any of the walking Wounded that chooses this method, just shoot yourself in the head now & be done with it. Why would being a (wo)man-bashing bitch/jerk be a good idea?! Being an overall cunt to the opposite sex just comes off as being defensive & ......cunty & not attractive at all. You may think that you're one step ahead or you're going to call him/her on their shit.....or you're just projecting & again, being a bitch.

And of course, there's the lovely paranoia bag. If you've been cheated on , lied to, or have had the misfortune of any infidelity, being overly suspicious is always a gem. Trust is so important in a relationship, that once doubt is introduced to it, it may possibly be its undoing for the Walking Wounded.  Yes, you might think you're just being cautious, keeping an eye out for warning signs , but at some point your safety precautions will become very unattractive traits. Being overly clingy or worse, snooping, who wants that for a significant other?!

On a personal note, I openly admit to being one of the Walking Wounded. I've had my share of abuse & plenty of experience with infidelity. I know what it's like to flinch when a man raises his voice. To be excessively timid to signs of affection. To be lied to & told "you're over reacting", "shes just a friend", "it's just flirting".....

To fellow wounded individuals & to those who have any interest in dealing with the wounded, communication is key. Speak your mind, share your wounded past, & listen carefully. There may be a lot of jumbled information, there may be tears, it may take a lot of time to work through the baggage. But for those who aren't royally fucked up beyond repair, even the Walking Wounded may have a chance at a really amazing relationship in the long run.