Marriage, it's not a dirty word

Edging near 30 , my opinion about marriage has definitely changed. Although not a dirty word, marriage is very much a loaded word. 

To many it's the end. It's responsibility, obligation & high expectation. And to those who have that mind-set, do yourself the favor & stay away from marriage all together. If you're having all those negative connotations & panic attacks , then that's a tell tale sign that it may not be for you. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. But getting hitched b/c it's "what you're SUPPOSED to do"....now that, is an insult to what marriage is supposed to be

Wedding: the ceremony or celebration of a marriage

Nothing makes me cringe more than accidentally coming across those estrogen charged wedding shows. I'm sure that they're amazingly entertaining , but that's a whole other facet that feeds into the marriage fear. It's not about destroying your family , losing friends, getting in debt, "i'm queen for a day" mentality. It's suppose to be a damn celebration of your love. People get too caught up in putting on a "show" that they forget that. I'm sure that having the right colors or having a theme is sentimental or perfect, but at the end of the day, ALL THAT MATTERS, is the person your marrying.

My parents set the bar....

Today is my parent's 33rd wedding anniversary. Their puerto rican hometowns are literally next door to one another, but ended up finding each other when they both came to NY for better lives. Complete opposites , mom being the practical  rationalist & papi the passionate sentimentalist. When they decided to get married, my mom's parent's became very ill. They postponed for almost a year, using everything they saved for my mom's back & forth travels to take care of them. My aunt, seeing everything they were going through, put her foot down, "found a guy", rounded up the people who mattered & my parents had a small ceremony in their studio apartment.

My parents didn't get married b/c my mom found the perfect dress, or b/c they had the perfect venue or b/c papi bought an obnoxious ring. They got married b/c for almost a year , my dad took my mom to the airport , knowing that she'd be away for months at a time, & no matter what, they both knew they loved each other, that no matter what happened, they'd get through it. THAT is what marriage is about. The most basic foundation. 

I only know a handful of people who have done it right so far. To my parents they had no idea what they were doing & just rolled with it, but to me, they are definitely my role models. 

*To anyone I know that have had weddings/separations/divorces/etc., 

please do not take offense to my post, 

it's not my intention*

Oh so much stuff

• I've been unemployed for a little over a month now & it's great! It's amazingly scary how a stressful job can have such a negative impact on your life & health.
• CUNY really is a piece of garbage. I'm on the waiting list for the colleges & they'll let me know in May if there's a spot. It's June people.
• With that said, my back-up plan of becoming a Nurse Tech., has saved me. Literally.
• i miss my niece. badly. her being so far just sucks. i would be taking her to the park everyday right now =(
• apparently i give off pheromones that smell like relationship although i never uttered the word. *puzzled*
• my cousins wedding is around the corner & I seriously need to get into MOH gear.
• Speaking of, I really wish she taught ZUMBA in NYC, best class I ever took & I refuse to pay $20 for just one class, let alone an actual gym membership.
• My name is Christina & I'm addicted to guacamole & Magnum ice cream bars. there, i said it.
• It's June & I'm already excited for Comic Con! Jay & Silent Bob will be there this year & if I can use my pretty girl self to get them to sign my Mallrats DVD.....that would be epic.
• My parents & I will be doing our 1st cancer -walk together this year. I'm really excited about it & I hope the entire family can get together for it. my aunt means a lot to me. to us. 
• i still need to donate blood,  planning on sending my type O goodness to the Sloan Kettering cancer center.
• if i could go back, I would've studied nursing like my mom told me to & not damn pictures! 

Warrior Woman

In my wildest dreams I never thought
I would be the person I have become
Just the quiet little mouse I used to be
Now become a warrior woman fighting
For what she thinks is hers by right
The chance to live each day in peace
Serene and wise maybe I would be
But first comes the battleground
Long ago I was so scared of life
Now I grab it by the throat tightly
And face all it brings me head on
I'm not afraid of anything anymore
Not even time itself can phase me
The new day brings its challenges
I smile and take a step with hope
Nothing more will ever beat me
*Fiona Davidson*

• sometimes you have look deep inside yourself, to be the strength for others
• I am a "split down the middle" of my parents