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Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

the earth shook...my heart stopped

I woke up early Saturday morning , for no reason really. & as I checked the BBM status's, I see my besties......an earthquake hit Chile. I just stared at my phone. Googled the news & there it was, an earthquake stronger than what had hit Haiti had struck Chile, with tons of aftershocks. My heart, just sunk. So I txt her & wait. I wasnt too sure as to where her family is, whether they're in Concepcion or Santiago, maybe both. I watch the news, stay online. She finally responds, most family accounted for.

My mother wakes up & comes to my room, shes been crying. She was worried for cat's family. I couldnt help but cry too. I think I felt appreciative that my family loves & cares about those that I love so very much .

I head to her house & keep her company. & we just watch the news. & although what happened was catastrophic, Chile had everything under control. The U.S. was quick to offer assistance, & Chile, although appreciative,pretty much said "we'll get back to you on that". I absolutely loved it. I felt proud for Chile. Earthquakes arent some unknown event to them, they're prepared. They've had plans & funds all set.

I got into a conversation with a friend, he was "puzzled" as to why I was so concerned. That earthquakes happen, things like this happen. You can just hope for the best & move on. Life moves on. & while all that is true, & the fact that he has the innate ability to rationalize just about everything.....this was not one of those times.
When you love people, care about them, you love & care about what's important to them. You feel for them, you worry for them......it doesnt matter what it is or where. It's not about distance or who has more culture. If it's Haiti or Chile or Cincinnati.

To my gypsy, I love you.
Chile, you're in my prayers

Ki jan mwen ede?

How Can I Help.....

On January 12th Haiti was hit by what can only be described as the hand of God. An earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale shattered the islands capital, with the current death toll to estimate to be 200,000.

For all the bitching I do about my life, how I WANT the things I dont NEED. To then watch people suffer who dont have much to begin with....how dare I. How dare we.

I've donated like millions of others I'm sure. I've reached out to those I know who have families there, who look at the news & see their culture, their people, their hearts shaken.

I just feel compelled to do more, donating just doesnt feel adequate enough for the devastation.
I question my strength. If I could go there now, to help , would I. Could I.

Haiti, I'm sorry it took this, for us to see you.
-Love me

Distant boo-boo

Sana Sana
colita de rana,
si no sanas hoy
sanaras manana



missing my niece

SMACK

You would think that I would've learned to stay away. stupid girl I am. my question is how can I be the person I am, still have people in my life, w/o having having salt rubbed on a apparently still healing wound. *sigh* Sad part is, the REALLY sad part, is that why should I get emo. I'm doing amazing. Im not surrounded by no-bodies, or have an empty, unfulfilled life. I dont try to clusterfuck it with crap just to pass the time.

stop reminiscing on something that will never be the same. I'm a whole different person now & outgrown a lot of bad habits.
.....this baggage is so 2005, it doesnt match my 2010 couture

oh 2009.....

I expect 2010 to be fantastical, b/c you sir, were BEYOND terribad! This year came & went, & yet I'm exactly at the same place I started at. Sort of like those movie scenes/music videos, where the person is standing still but everything else is moving in super fast motion. (try to visualize people)
The year was marked with deaths & economic depression! There were bits of silver lining's, but sorry 2009, I have to say I know a lot of folks that are happy to see you go.

*SIGH*
Legends like Michael Jackson & Patrick Swayze passed away, shockers like DJ AM, John Travolta's son & recently Brittany Murphy. *sad face*

The amount of people that were let go from their jobs was disgusting. I saw people that I cared about hold their breathe while they waited to see if they'd end up losing heir job as well. My own job went from being "secure" to "we cant predict the future".

I've seen my parents struggle. Old age settle in & bad habits come back......still waiting to see how that'll play out in 2010.

My health, always the fun roller-coaster ride. Bad enough to scare to me, but nothing too serious *thank god*

*Smiley Face*
I finally got a new computer. Alienware at that! He's my baby, so far things are working out wonderfully. & I'm looking forward to our very happy future 2gether.....or until I have to upgrade him too.

I got to take my 1st "vacation" with my gypsy. Nothing exotic, but it doesnt take much to have a good weekend away. AND I got a new camera!! ^_^

It was a year filled with gaming gatherings. I got to show Ohio what NYC has to offer & went to Comic Con, in turn he showed me the country glam of his hometown, along with his amazing family. Had a geek moment with the guys watching Transformers 2 & gave them an introduction to Outback deliciousness.
Spent Halloween meeting a awesome PA group , who introduced me to BUZZ & in-turn, I made a skinny all-american boy an honorary latino ^_^!! lol

I got to check of an item on my bucket list!! Seeing Robin Williams live was AMAZING!! The man is the nutjob to say the least! But he represents so much to me, emotions were high. I felt bad for my cousin, who was probably chanting "dont have an asthma attack!" the entire night!

I realized that the people I keep close are all that matter. I had a very simple, yet very fun, birthday. Extremely cheesy at Medieval Times, but I had such a great time, b/c my friends heart my silly-ass!

To be continued..........
2009 was branded with devastating family news. Although the family is unbelievably large, they're few that have had a constant presence & impact in my life. One of those family members, my aunt, was diagnosed with cancer early in 2009. Towards the end its taken a toll on her & the family. We all worry for her, for each other. We hold our breathe & stay positive b/c we are strong, we have to be. We're Amazons.

2010 will be filled with loving myself & those around me. To do the things I've always wanted & fulfill goals that I keep pushing off. To move on & forgive. To grow up. To make a difference in my life & hopefully someone else's.

To the people who are constant, near & far.
Thank you.
For loving me, guiding me,
& baring with me.
I'd be lost without you

It's starting to feel alot like Xmas

goodies from the heart have a way of lifting your spirits