so, things r looking up after the wisdom teeth removal! i looked pretty horrific after it even came to work looking like i swollowed a fish bowl. lol
* damn that mall for opening up by my house. i wanna go to best buy, target & bed bath & beyond EVERYDAY!!
* ordered my new comp (round 2 with DELL) gets here Monday, it better work!!
*bff's bday is friday, wow. almost 10yrs being my sanity. oosh, we're almost 30!!! lol
* i need a dress!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
patience.....not a virture
*sigh*
the air in waiting rooms is always filled with anxiety, tension, shaken nerves, mainly impatience.
I am a constant regular at doc offices, ER's & the like, I am quite familiar with the workings of them. & yet here I am, impatient as ever, anxious as hell! probably b/c i know whats about to happen, more so the relief that i'll get as soon as it's over!!!
who cares if i look like i had a run-in with Chris Brown! (low blow, i know, but made me laugh)
BTW,
can my mother stop being a back-seat driver to life!!!!! has to give her opinions & 2cents to everything & everyone!! the worst!!
the air in waiting rooms is always filled with anxiety, tension, shaken nerves, mainly impatience.
I am a constant regular at doc offices, ER's & the like, I am quite familiar with the workings of them. & yet here I am, impatient as ever, anxious as hell! probably b/c i know whats about to happen, more so the relief that i'll get as soon as it's over!!!
who cares if i look like i had a run-in with Chris Brown! (low blow, i know, but made me laugh)
BTW,
can my mother stop being a back-seat driver to life!!!!! has to give her opinions & 2cents to everything & everyone!! the worst!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Curiouser and Curiouser
Quiet the interesting conversation with a male bff,
My automatic response is "of course it's ok"! & why shouldn't it be? I have very few close friends, & they mean the world to me, if someone is with me, they'll know that. And at the same time, the relationship that I establish with that individual is equally important. It all comes down to honesty & being secure with who you are & the bonds you have with the individuals you have in your life. I can only speak for myself based on my experiences. Everyone serves a purpose, & no matter how close or "in-love" you may be with your significant other, you'll always need an outlet, a neutral source for venting. Obviously, 3am phone calls for chit-chat probably wont hold well, but regardless, why should someone feel uncomfortable with relationships that are pre-established before they even came into the mix.
Now to be fair, obviously if your guy/girl is going around calling EVERYONE their BFF/homeboy/homegirl, then you may want to raise an eyebrow. How can you possibly differentiate the relationships? what does that say about the individual with such a large "inner circle"? Thats just nonsense, imo. I dealt with that BS for quite sometime, never that again. Hence why honesty is such a huge important factor.
Maybe I'm still naive as to how relationships work, or have to face facts that everyone lies? But I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Till then, my friends are still around.....<3
"Are opposite sex best friends acceptable after marriage?"
My automatic response is "of course it's ok"! & why shouldn't it be? I have very few close friends, & they mean the world to me, if someone is with me, they'll know that. And at the same time, the relationship that I establish with that individual is equally important. It all comes down to honesty & being secure with who you are & the bonds you have with the individuals you have in your life. I can only speak for myself based on my experiences. Everyone serves a purpose, & no matter how close or "in-love" you may be with your significant other, you'll always need an outlet, a neutral source for venting. Obviously, 3am phone calls for chit-chat probably wont hold well, but regardless, why should someone feel uncomfortable with relationships that are pre-established before they even came into the mix.
Now to be fair, obviously if your guy/girl is going around calling EVERYONE their BFF/homeboy/homegirl, then you may want to raise an eyebrow. How can you possibly differentiate the relationships? what does that say about the individual with such a large "inner circle"? Thats just nonsense, imo. I dealt with that BS for quite sometime, never that again. Hence why honesty is such a huge important factor.
Maybe I'm still naive as to how relationships work, or have to face facts that everyone lies? But I guess I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Till then, my friends are still around.....<3
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
ouchy!
So Sunday I did the March For Babies walk (previously known as the March of Dimes) in Long Island. It's now Wednesday, & i still have the sickest sunburn on my arms!!! It's like i have red sleeves!!! I woke up Monday swollen in the face from this horrible disaster! *sigh* lol
Going away for Memorial Day weekend, pretty xcited!! 1st time I've ever done anything for that. AND, its the Hamptons, FANCY, lol!!
It's almost been a month since I've started my healthy-diet. I've slipped up a few times, going out for dinner, bbq's, taco's, that damn OutBack, but all in all, doing pretty damn good! Cut my soda intake to 1 pepsi/fanta every 3-4 days. Drinking alot more water & vitamin water. I even started eating salads!!! GASP!
This diet isn't about "being skinny", it's about taking care of myself. & eating mangu 5 days a week & fast food is no damn good. The weight I've gained is due to crappy eating habits & laziness!! I haven't practiced my yoga or done a crunch in almost a year. Now that's just crazy.
Lalala, summer's almost here, can we get a decent spring first!!
Going away for Memorial Day weekend, pretty xcited!! 1st time I've ever done anything for that. AND, its the Hamptons, FANCY, lol!!
It's almost been a month since I've started my healthy-diet. I've slipped up a few times, going out for dinner, bbq's, taco's, that damn OutBack, but all in all, doing pretty damn good! Cut my soda intake to 1 pepsi/fanta every 3-4 days. Drinking alot more water & vitamin water. I even started eating salads!!! GASP!
This diet isn't about "being skinny", it's about taking care of myself. & eating mangu 5 days a week & fast food is no damn good. The weight I've gained is due to crappy eating habits & laziness!! I haven't practiced my yoga or done a crunch in almost a year. Now that's just crazy.
Lalala, summer's almost here, can we get a decent spring first!!
Friday, April 3, 2009
how do I update my Personal Drive
“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” -Carrie
^^This.
Why can't I ever post something positive or good? This "once in a while blog" is almost like a small trail of my own personal demise. Or maybe I'm looking at it wrong. Maybe my path to self-discovery? to be determined i guess.
So after getting the work evaluation from hell & then doing my taxes, it was nothing short of getting shot in the stomach by a shotgun. When did being an adult turn into hell? I mean, you hear people talk about hell after death, but nope.....pretty sure there are a few of us that are living it right now.
I remember when was I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult!! & now I am, so whydo I still feel like a kid lost in a department store. Blargh!
I wonder how other people do it, still go out clubbing & have so many more friends than one person can manage. I cant. At the end of the day, I'm too physically & mentally drained to do much. I almost feel bad for not talking to the few friends I have, but to be perfectly honest, what would be the point. Only to dredge on & on about the same "boo-hoo rant" as usual. I'm sure they could careless, actually they've already shown little to no interest. can you blame them?
Personally, I like my little handful of friends. I dont have the attention span to make more. Does that make me a bitch, nope. Just brutally honest. No, I dont want to hang out with John or Jane Doe & get to know you & be BFF's. lol
When did being an adult get so lonely? hmmmm, when did I become so Emo?
I need a vacation.
& my contacts broke, grrrrrrr
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Further down the rabbit hole........
Why is it when one bad thing happens, it always brings friends? You're bombarded with so much bad news or happenings that you begin to doubt if you'll ever see the light of day that is your peace of mind.
With ER visits thanks to my new found "old lady asthma", an aunt in the hospital, & my own family going through, yet again, "hard times", it seems that the limitations of my physical & mental strength are being constantly pushed.
A friend linked an article: What it Takes to be a Survivor, "Why do some people live and others die? Why do a few stay calm and collected under extreme pressure when others panic and unravel? How do some bounce back from adversity while others collapse and surrender?"
An amazing article about how some people can deal with the issues, rather, acknowledge them, while others suffer, for lack of a better word, from "inattentional blindness" or "incredulity response." People are unable to see the urgency's of situations happening around them, & in turn, go about their lives. They're either unable to cope or refuse to cope, & are unable to make decisions regarding the matter, so instead they just go about their business.
Why do some people go for the bottle when times get rough? or cry when they're upset? or close themselves from the world?
My aunt is in dire need of constant medical supervision, preferably in a rehabilitation center in order for her to recover from her recent surgery, & yet she & her husband chose to have her home, with a nurse only visiting once a day, for one hour at that. My mom is panicking at what may happen while shes here & my aunt is in NJ, will there be consequences to their decisions? meanwhile my parents are at another crossroads & the timing couldn't be any more worse with my aunt in the hospital & their anniversary coming up.
I am not the 14 yr old girl who struggled to keep her family together. Things have changed, I've changed. How am I supposed to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves? Who has already went down that path & yet, through all the hurt & pain its caused my family, has chosen to go down it once again? As harsh as it may sound, "it isn't my job to save my parents", as my cousin puts it. It's just harder since I'm still at home....locking myself away in my room can only do so much.
I almost feel selfish,being upset with myself that I'm not financially secure enough to be on my own. To be able to deal with my own problems, my own drama. To not have to referee other peoples arguments, mediate other peoples situations. Isn't it bad enough that I buffer situations at my own job, don't I get to have a place where I can gather my thoughts. Don't I deserve a Fortress of Solitude? I AM family oriented, in the end, they're all I have. But where do I cross the line?
I need to save whatever little sanity & health I have left, before I fall so far down, I won't remember what daylight looks like.
With ER visits thanks to my new found "old lady asthma", an aunt in the hospital, & my own family going through, yet again, "hard times", it seems that the limitations of my physical & mental strength are being constantly pushed.
A friend linked an article: What it Takes to be a Survivor, "Why do some people live and others die? Why do a few stay calm and collected under extreme pressure when others panic and unravel? How do some bounce back from adversity while others collapse and surrender?"
An amazing article about how some people can deal with the issues, rather, acknowledge them, while others suffer, for lack of a better word, from "inattentional blindness" or "incredulity response." People are unable to see the urgency's of situations happening around them, & in turn, go about their lives. They're either unable to cope or refuse to cope, & are unable to make decisions regarding the matter, so instead they just go about their business.
Why do some people go for the bottle when times get rough? or cry when they're upset? or close themselves from the world?
My aunt is in dire need of constant medical supervision, preferably in a rehabilitation center in order for her to recover from her recent surgery, & yet she & her husband chose to have her home, with a nurse only visiting once a day, for one hour at that. My mom is panicking at what may happen while shes here & my aunt is in NJ, will there be consequences to their decisions? meanwhile my parents are at another crossroads & the timing couldn't be any more worse with my aunt in the hospital & their anniversary coming up.
I am not the 14 yr old girl who struggled to keep her family together. Things have changed, I've changed. How am I supposed to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves? Who has already went down that path & yet, through all the hurt & pain its caused my family, has chosen to go down it once again? As harsh as it may sound, "it isn't my job to save my parents", as my cousin puts it. It's just harder since I'm still at home....locking myself away in my room can only do so much.
I almost feel selfish,being upset with myself that I'm not financially secure enough to be on my own. To be able to deal with my own problems, my own drama. To not have to referee other peoples arguments, mediate other peoples situations. Isn't it bad enough that I buffer situations at my own job, don't I get to have a place where I can gather my thoughts. Don't I deserve a Fortress of Solitude? I AM family oriented, in the end, they're all I have. But where do I cross the line?
I need to save whatever little sanity & health I have left, before I fall so far down, I won't remember what daylight looks like.
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